Back now, think i'll ease you're brains a bit with the, have you ever had the dream or should I say dreams like any of these?
Things you hear on the bus; LAST night she said she had the strangest dream she dream'nt or thought it was a dream. she said she turned off the tv by the remote the alarm was set turned of the lights & got into bed, she said she woke up later in dream mode but was touching her self intimately she said in the sleep haze she could hear two voices going across the bedroom from tv to alarm saying what to do. She said she heard them say she was to strong & that she was waking up
one voice asked the other how they knew
the other voice answered i'm watching her on camers & not just wanking with what we're doing that's what security is for! She said I said out loud & you can both fuck off , her friend on the bus said then what did you do? she answered I turned off everything that was fucking infa red & got the travel alarm out ,me dad allways warned me what the commies were up to in the cold war something about hidden cameras & recording, speakers in people's houses,trains radio brain washing he called it I thought he was bloody kidding! I had to go & get a bloody history book out the kids aye stopped laughing yet. her friends stop came up & she got off saying I hope you get it sorted. I couldn't bloody believe it when I got on the bus & saw the same two ladies gassing & the only Empty seat was behind! oh I do hope its a talk time like the other I thought to me'self. I got me'self settled in me seat & tuned in same woman leant in to her friend & said you remember that dream I told you about & her friend we'll call Nora replied kind of uncomfortably yes. well it happened a bloody gain didn't it I was asleep on the bloody settee this time with fucking Paddy Mcguiness on the fucking tv with his bloody show take me out & there he was Paddy YES fucking Paddy telling me to squeeze me tit a little harder & just spread me legs a bit wider for the camera I kid you not that was the quickest way to put me off fucking Paddy spock eared Mcguiness I can tell you. she turned & looked at Nora who'd not only gone quiet but a paler shade of grey( bit like 50 bloody shades B/L O.M.E.G.A. one I thought a complete rip off of the black lace books that put a smile of raunchy memories in me own head then I have read the lot front to back & then just to particular pages per book) anyway this was just as Nora was telling Jackie that on the weekend she woke up thinking the local shops were being bombed she could hear the bangs & booms but couldn't see fuck all. even put her head out the window & it stopped. she said I thought I've gotta cut out this house boozing its me sons tv I went to tell him to switch it off to hear him snoring & the fucking tv telling him that he was living in the silent film & that in the silence of the hills film that zombies were real as was that game the hunger games as well as time travel? ( I had to pretend I was laughing on me phone thank fuck for ear plugs (got 2 phones aint I one is allways on silent vibrate) cos they bloody looked round didn't they! after a while J said to N so what did you do ? Well I bounced his fucking door open its like a bloody barricade behind & went in stormin norman style & said & you lot can go & fuck off n all I know who you are Jackie said quick as a flash who the fuck is it & we'll go visit them, Nora said I aye really got a fucking clue but as soon as I mentioned the new wiring & set tops we'd just had they both looked at each other & said he can have his fantastic package straight muther fucking back. just then Noras's phone went she said to Jackie I've gotta answer it the babies teething but poorly to! J;hurry up then, Nora answered then just saud i'm gonna put you on loud speaker I don't care that i'm on the fucking bus just repeat what you just sais so Mrs Nosey Nell behind & Aunty Jackie can hear! SO as all good bus passengers do within ear shot we all shut up to listen I of course with a red bloody face & court out smile of embarressment Nora said we have there ears now so please repeat what you just said then put the baby on in fact put the baby on first! ewo nana hello me little ray of sunshine so what you been up to the baby says ana evy eivion tay maff mamis irrors iv my cARRRRR AAAaaaahhhhhh don't be daft pet the tv cant do that ana i's ot ibbin i's ellin u du twuff ( p.n. we all looked at each other on the buss with the ARH brought up proper look then we all gave the till they get to bloody nursery look) ana! yes pet! I as a onfeshun to maked I omenly were tiis v twuth cos I did do it so I nos i's elling u du uckin twuff. du evi vishioun aireiies N; did you say fairies pet? ess ana du evi vishion arieas said efor to me to ick all du afidaols & blue bells efor du show an i's did said dat du aries ust a un it ut it us me ana i's sooowy ut v ukkin ev old me to & gan gan id wat it sed to! N; what did gan gan do( we were on the edge of our fucking seats thanking god the baby was being brought up proper ap she's only 1 n a half) is did du eakin of ur anas ina an ez in idin an ovin fins o ake u cared Jackie turned to Norma n lipped well thats fucking cleared the poltergeist theory its definetly the cold war crap we all nodded thank fuck for bus security camera's & rear view mirrors I may not drive but I no how to use them bloody things. By this time the baby was still crying & the son took over the phone with us all calling out tell the baby hers done nothing wrong gangan's in trouble with nana & so are the chuffin faieries. Nora's son said its ok mam I've recorded everything we'll wait for you to get her but can we have the old video recorder & dvd player Shirleys dads on the way round with his electrician friends to re wire everything & ones got some gizmo thing to check for spy ware Auntie JACKIE yes Brian i'm not fucking deaf dad said you either got to open up the van n sleep in there till the morning or stop at ours at this both Nora & Jackie looked at each other & said together i'llshe'll stop in the van.we all laughed they got off. I didn't see them on the bus for nearly a month. Then bingo they were there now remember they have given me a name so as I walked passed to get into my (p.n all bus passengers get like this on my now regular seat) I said sorry to disturb you but how did you get on with the fairies & the tv thing not wanting to mention the gan gan & nanas nanas china( we become demons of memories where these things are called I & others out of love & others just so they can beatch( we all no a couple of them kind). Nora & Jackie both turned & said well we cant keep calling you nosey nell whats yr name pet? oh its Dora (no pun) well Dora they said with smiles(both thinking about bloody explorer) What the baby said was true apparently when they re-wired the houses they was getting ready for a take over they've been putting secret spy tech in TV's ( i thought that was a joke about Samsung putting in hidden cameras & listening recording devices in products with infa red blue or green lights fibre optic lense to help the police how do they know where they'r going & who's gona turn em on that's pervy net tv ) I said get lost pleased I was fucking sitting down after me own thoughts entered me head, both said no its right the M.O.D's been involved after we called the police it aint just our houses there's been quite a few the one man's been locked up as a nutter all over money & inheritance's their having to rehabilitate him cos of what they've done to him there they've got drones going over to check for spy equipment in all buildings shut the fuck up I said no we're telling the truth we left the babies monitor on record when they asked us to leave the room yesterday. & Because they ain't aired anything about it up to ye we both agreed with the family that if it hadn't gone national by tonight's news at 10 then we'd u-tube it cos they cant say we are lying not only has the other halfs got evidence that matches theres exactly but We also have the baby monitor recording admissible in court we checked first just in case we all gave that look to & all three of us laughe they said cheerio & I said I hope they put it nationaly & not you just in case they laughed & said either way it goes out tonight Dora tatta I replied tarra as they got off then i got me bloody phone out & started asking google bloody questions was I pleased they u-tubed it later it has made history. now i'm pleased that's not really happening is it! the dream sequel to be continued........... items to wear in the evening that not expensive